WhyAttention is at the centre of well-being, from joy to sadness, energy & performance

1. Attention precedes each experience we have

Laurie Parma
4 min readJan 14, 2018


What we decide to (or let) our attention lend upon, takes over our entire cognitive machinery for a moment. Our neurones wire in response to what we focus on in order to encode the information and ‘write it’ in our brain. Neuroscientists call this “encoding information’. In a way, we ‘become’ what we behold. That’s why attention shapes our brain along with the experience we have, which William James puts better than anyone else:

“My experience is what I agree to attend to. Only those items which I notice shape my mind.” The Principles of Psychology, Vol.1

2. Because our reality is made up by our brain: Reality is essentially virtual

Once perceived, our view of the world is then heavily mediated during brain processing (aka our brain trying to make sense of stuff). The object of perception is filtered through our senses first, our past experiences and impressions: we interpret what we see to make sense of reality. A bunch of cognitive biases are further imposed upon our perception of the world by our cultural operating system, by our language, our religious affiliation, our preconceptions and prejudice. Our World is a construction.

We don’t see things as they are; we see them as we are. — Anais Nin

What we call “our reality” is very subjective and therefore essentially virtual. That doesn’t make it any less real. Although it might be closer to pattern recognition than truth, it is still a pattern of very useful information. Our filter bubble is as real as any other reality.

3. We get used to EVERYTHING

Hedonic adaptation has it that whatever we are repetitively exposed to, we hardwire it into our brain… That’s why our brain eventually stops paying attention to it. It is true of the worst events and of the most joyful ones.

Research showed that people’s well-being and happiness go back to baseline after most sets back or disasters, which include the loss of lost ones and major life crises such as divorce or losing one’s job. This phenomenon is very steady and reliable. The same is true of major life milestones, such as graduating or getting married, promoted or becoming a parent: we rapidly habituate and in time the excitement fades away.

The enemies here are not so much the events themselves (or details of what happened exactly): the enemy is the lack of novelty. Once we have built up a model and assimilated an event in our brain — however sad or happy — we update the library of ‘been there and done that’ and it soon stops feeling exciting.

Familiarity sadly breeds boredom.

4. ‘Attentional stewarding’ is at the centre of the whole psychology and self-help industry

The definition of Attention is: to notice and be with something without trying to change it. That’s where meditation, yoga and breathing exercises come in. To help us become aware of our erratic attentional spotlight behaviour. We need all the helps we can get to direct (or redirect) the spotlight of attention. It is no easy task.

I like to bear in mind that all realities are coloured, all realities are virtual, and we will get used to — or bored — of them. As much as I am fond of being aware of ‘what is’, I’m also acutely aware thatwhat is’ is mostly made up and I am not particularly attached to it.

In fact, if our reality-fabrication is as flimsy as it appears and well-being is highly dependent upon the management of attention, then our capacity to steer awareness and decide where to allocate the spotlight of attention is what I am truly passionate about. I like to call it stewardship of internal life. When we have or acquire the capacity to steward the content of consciousness: we can become architects of inner experience. It grants us precious control of our inner movie which is the key to any clear mind, peace and lasting satisfaction.

5. Designing Experience is possible and it is an art

Because attention is the fabric of reality, the art of ‘tweaking attention’ is at the centre of the entire self-help industry. The means that have been produced to facilitate attention steering are plentiful: meditation, affirmations, prayer, intentions, rituals, goal setting, mantra, mindset, therapy etc. Plentiful and redundant. Many of these techniques overlap extensively and it used to drive me mad. It doesn’t anymore. Life is an art and I have no scruples in using different brushes to paint the colours and perspectives I prefer, mindfully.

MORE. I love mindfulness but there is more to life than just paying attention. I certainly find settling troubles much easier on a calm and steady mind. What happens next is what truly fascinates me: once you are present, objective and able to deal with dreads and anxiety. Once you settle the noise and access real focus and mind-space… What do you choose to do with it?



Laurie Parma

Neurospychology researcher @Cambridge_uni turned Well-being Culture and Impact strategist. I use my craft to create the #futureOfLiving & the #FutureOfWork